Posted by
Ralphie Parker on Tuesday, September 12, 2006 3:59:51 AM
Hello, again. I know it's been a while since I checked in, but you'd be amazed how long it takes a little guy like me to travel across the country. Today, I come to you after visiting two of my favorite states, Oregon and Washington. In fact, I have 49 favorite states. There's only one state I don't care too much about, and that is Minnesota, home of the cursed group of drunkards,
Fraters Libertas, that used to own me until I got my chance to run free.
Now that's what I call a road sign. In Oregon, outside of Portland and on the way to the Columbia River that divides Oregon and Washington, I stopped with my new friends on the Blue Star Memorial Highway. As a newly freed American, I am very thankful for the service of our armed forces. I only wish that Chad the Elder would get an up close and personal demonstration of what the Navy SEALs can do.
My whole water experience in captivity with the Fraters gang was lakes. Minnesota has a lot of them, but the water never moved like this.
I had to get closer.
And closer.
Perfect.
This is the life. A week ago, I was in the Southeast. Today, I'm in the Northwest, and Chad the Elder is in Minnesota, sitting on his couch, still trying to digest unhealthy state fair food.
These were pioneers of freedom and liberty, unlike those Fraters Libertas posers.
I've seen what the evils of drinking does to people like Chad the Elder. This is more my style.
This was a cool little place on the Oregon side of the Columbia gorge.
Now this display was cool. While made that poor radio producer Duane milk a cow, these guys were riding bulls and broncos. There is so much more to see outside of Minnesota.
Let freedom ring.
I didn't really taste any wine. I just wanted to make Chad jealous.
In case you can't read the sign,
Very cool.
Home base for the night was at the Hilton in Yakima, Washington, 3,242 miles from Miami, my last stop. But more importantly, 1,582 miles from Chad the Elder. Chad may claim he's not a leader in the mold of Ehud Olmert, but after his initial post attacking Duane and that nice radio host, Hugh Hewitt, he's done nothing. He's paralyzed with inaction.
Believe me. As a committed traveler, nobody treats you better than Hilton hotels. As for me, my work here is finished. Nobody in Oregon or Washington had heard of Chad the Elder or his cohorts at Fraters Libertas, but now that I've explained how bad they all are, they will never be welcome here, either. Off to parts unknown. Chad, you'll never find me.