Posted by
Ralphie Parker on Sunday, October 11, 2009 1:54:01 AM
Howdy, y'all. After my trip to North Carolina to spread my bad will towards Chad the Elder and the Fraters Libertas gang, I decided to head out West. I visited some few friends in...
Bakersfield, California, the jewel of Kern County. Back in the 50s, anyone traveling between San Francisco or Sacramento and Los Angeles drove under this arch. In fact, the arch is famous enough that my new friends took me to Carriage Fine Jewelers in downtown Bakersfield.
Chad the Elder, my former captor, would never have adorned me with a bracelet. This is pretty.
Bakersfield is known for three things - oil, farming and Buck Owens. Who is Buck Owens, you ask? If you are too young to have seen Hee Haw, ask your parents. They'll know.
Here I am standing next to Buck and his many gold records inside the Crystal Palace.
Owens' era was a much different era than today.
From my perspective, this is a big dance hall girl. Over my shoulder is one of Buck's legendary red, white and blue guitars.
The clock tower behind me stood in the center of town until the big earthquake of 1952 damaged it badly. It was rebuilt and moved to Pioneer Village, which is a village that has many stores and shops, including a blacksmith shop, a school, a church,
and the museum behind me.
Normally, posing next to other statues doesn't intimidate me, but a 30 foot Indian does dominate the shot.
He used to stand at the traffic circle downtown.
Now he stands guard in the parking lot of the Old Corral, which has the best hamburgers and coldest beer in town. I'm surprised Chad the Elder doesn't already know about this place.
Trout's is a very famous place, as it was one of the main places that Buck Owens and Merle Haggard used to play to hone their sound.
Bakersfield is still known as Nashville West, but not as much as it used to be.
Believe it or not, in spite of the EPA, there is still running water in Kern County.
My friends asked me if I wanted to go whitewater rafting.
But the closer I got to the water,
The more I had flashbacks to the times under Chad the Elder captivity when he made me ride the rapids in the bathroom.
So instead we rested in Hart Park and enjoyed the view.
I enjoyed my time in Bakersfield, but now the season has turned to fall, and I have some ideas of places I need to visit to warn them about the innebriate Fraters Libertas gang. For now, Ralphie....out.